Défaite de famille [English translation]

[Intro]

–Hey, rapper of the family! Why don't you do a little rap for us?

–Come on! Do a song!

–Aurélien! Do a song! Aurélien! Do a song! Aurélien! Do a song!

–Okay.

Since we're all gathered here to sing "Les Démons de minuit"

Eat mousse de canard on blini and dance under GiFi strobelights

I've prepared a little speech 'cause I gotta get something off my chest

I hate family gatherings, woo

[Verse]

First off, nights out where I didn't fuck, I've had enough of those in high school

I've already checked out cousins, even if it means risking Down's syndrome

But when I see Delphine's face that does nothing but whine

I can see why her drunk boyfriend would rather dance with the dog

If I'm over 30 and still at the kids' table

It's so I can warn them 'bout Christian when he gets alcohol in his veins

And 'cause I can't listen to another one of my parents' dirty jokes

Best believe Dad would fuck Mom on the table if you found it funny

Vincent! You're the same age as me, so why do you seem so much older?

If you're not scared of the void, look into Murielle's eyes

Sorry, I spent all afternoon blowing up balloons

In what felt like a military operation led by dad

While my brother-in-law spouted off political clichés

And watched me carry boxes as he felt up my sister every three seconds

There are exactly enough cups for each person, you gotta write your name on yours

'Cause Auntie's the type of penny-pincher who'll wash paper plates

Uncle! If you keep saying, "Yo! Yo!" with your fingers

The next time you pass by me will be last time you'll ever use them

I'm still mad at you for when I was little and you shook me up like a bitch

If you cared so much 'bout your side-view mirrors, why'd you park right behind the goal?

Speaking of bitches, I'd like to welcome Bruno's new wife

If Caro stops listening to me, it means she’s working out her next rumor

Forgive her, she wouldn't be like that if her husband wasn't cheating on her

Or maybe he's cheating 'cause she's like that, hm ... I don't know

A message to all my distant cousins: come on, let's stop acting all buddy-buddy

'Cause an ancestor–we don't know who–is the only thing we have in common

One fucking ancestor who must've burned down villages and pillaged homes

Around the same time Grandpa fucked Joan of Arc

Oh and Grandpa, tell us about the time you were 9 and you killed Hitler

You were never a hero, you weren’t even a good liar

My hero was you, Nico, but ever since you got with that dumb bitch

You're just white trash like the others

Thank you, Arnaud! For coming to take pictures of yourself to boost your social media

To show you hanging with some plebs so you can look even more bobo

Paulo! If you wanna impress me, rolling complicated joints is not the way

Nor is saying "wesh" way too much for a white boy

Seeing as your dad has a problem with Arabs, it's quite ironic

By the way, he's less likely to die from terrorism than from alcoholism

I hope Auntie makes sure the kids are strapped in

'Cause her husband's gonna drive home like he's got a self-driving car

I had more to say, but when I see you all stuffing your fat fucking mouths like that

All I can think is if there are enough pigs on Earth to feed you all

I'd like to finish by saying no matter the smiles, the small-town parties

All it takes is a little inheritance for you to show your true colors

[Outro]

Grandma, I love you, see you next year