Thanks a Lot, but no Thanks lyrics

I'm watching and waiting.

(Hello, Sam! Hello, Joe!)

I'm waiting and watching.

(Hello, Max! Hello, Bob! Hello, Jasper!)

I hope and I yearn...

(Hello, Bill! Hello, Phil!)

...just for his return.

(Hello, fellas!)

Thanks for the present

of the silver blue mink.

Thanks for the plane

and the ice skating rink.

Thanks for the yacht

and for the solid gold sink.

Thanks a lot, but no thanks.

Thanks for the Scrabble

set with platinum board.

Thanks for the factory

once known as Ford.

Thank you for finding me

the famous "lost chord."

Thanks a lot, but no thanks.

For I am just a faithful lassie

waiting for her faithful lad.

And there's no gift, however classy,

by which this lassie can be had.

Thanks for the banks

and for the Santa Fe line.

Thanks for the darling uranium mine,

but I'm a gal with only one valentine.

Thanks a lot, but no thanks.

Thanks for the champagne

and thanks for the state of Maine.

And thanks for

the autographed picture of John Wayne.

Thanks a lot, but no thanks.

Thanks for the cruise

and thanks for the oil wells that ooze.

And thanks

for that pair of Fred Astaire shoes.

Thanks a lot, but no thanks.

For I am just a faithful lassie

Waiting for her faithful lad.

And there's no gift, however classy,

By which this lassie can be had.

Thanks for losing your mind.

And thanks for Fort Knox sealed and signed.

But I've got a guy who's Clifton Webb

And Marlon Brando combined.

Thanks a lot, but no, no thanks.