À l'ombre des maris [English translation]

May the zealous defenders of austere virtue not take offense1, but

if I'd had the honour of commanding abord,

abord the Titanic when it was shipwrecked

I would have shouted "Adulterous women first!"

Don't throw a stone at the adulterous woman,

I'm behind her...

Because, to satisy the desires and calm the burning fever

of a poor lonely man who's not made of stone,

there's nothing like an inconstant wife.

Stationmasters wives, you are the best of the lot.2

Don't throw a stone at the adulterous woman,

I'm behind her...

As for you, My Lords3, love as you see fit,

as far as I'm concerned, having once realised

that an adulterous woman is more exquisite than any other,

I seek my happiness in the husbands' shadow.

Don't throw a stone at the adulterous woman,

I'm behind her...

In the husbands' shadow but, it goes without saying,

not any old husbands, I screen them, I choose them.

If Mrs Dupont, by chance, attracts me

it's absolutely necessary that I like Mr Dupont too.

Don't throw a stone at the adulterous woman,

I'm behind her...

It's suitable if the bloke has a pleasant face,

if not, thinking better of it, I make tracks rapidly,

for I'm particluar and refuse to drink

from the glass of a man who just isn't for me.

Don't throw a stone at the adulterous woman,

I'm behind her...

It's long since my beginnings when, short of practise,

I set my sights on policemen's wives.

I wasn't yet up to speed on the esthetic issues.

I don't comit that crime against good taste any more.

Don't throw a stone at the adulterous woman,

I'm behind her...

Yes, I'm fastidious, pernickety, but I reckon

that the husband should be a proper gentleman,

for we both finish up getting very close

by dint, by dint of passing the baton.

Don't throw a stone at the adulterous woman,

I'm behind her...

But if one falls, alas, in with vile husbands,

others are so couteous, so good, so warm,

that, even after ceasing to love their wives,

one still pretends to just for them.

Don't throw a stone at the adulterous woman,

I'm behind her...

It's like that for me just now, I'm sad, sick,

when I have to do the honours with one stupid cow,

but her husband and I, we are Orestes and Pylades,

and to keep the friend I still make a fuss of the wife.

Don't throw a stone at the adulterous woman,

I'm behind her...

Not content with being disagreable, she cheats on me,

and on days when, infuriated, wanting to end it all,

I cry "I've had enough, it's time I made the break!"

the husband begs "No, don't leave me!"

Don't throw a stone at the adulterous woman,

I'm behind her...

And I stay on, and the two of us toady up to each other.

Me, I tell him "You're my favourite cuckold."

Then he replies to me "Of all my horns

the ones I owe to you, dear fellow, are sacred to me".

Don't throw a stone at the adulterous woman,

I'm behind her...

So I stay, and sometimes, when that stuck-up creature

stays late in company with her new lover,

when the nanny's gone out, the husband is fishing,

it's me, poor me! who looks after the kids.

Don't throw a stone at the adulterous woman.

1. if any of you reaading reading this are "dragons of virtue", please take note that it's not to be taken seriously and keep your hair on2. I switched "wood" to "stone" the English say "stone" (except of course in "wooden heart"). The station master in the last line probably comes from a rather vulagar song one of whose lines is "Il est cocu, le chef du gare" (He's a cuckold, the stationmaster). "la fleur du pois" (means the most elegant and most in demand anything) and when "du" is made plural ("des") the phrase sounds exatly like "la fleur d'époi" which means "the flower of the tip of the horn (or antler)" and horns or antlers are of course symbolic of a cuckold in French just as they are in English, and in this context the pun is surely intended. (Brassens version of the song in print has "des pois")3. covers both lords temporal and on the chuch side bishops and higher