Funny Musical Teacher lyrics

[Student:]

Hello?

[Teacher:]

I’m a musical teacher

And I’m here to spread some knowledge

I can make you really smart

So your dumb ass can go to college

Math, English, Science, Spanish, Sexual Education

World Wars, Algebra, Shakespeare and condensation

[Student:]

Why am I the only person here?

[Teacher:]

Don’t be a bitch

Have no fear

I’m going to teach you so much shit

You couldn’t learn in a year

[Student:]

This is ridiculous

[Teacher:]

Ridiculous, periculous, meticulous

These are all adjectives

See grammar is limitless

[Student:]

Okay I get it

Could we just start

[Teacher:]

If you really want to take my class

Then you have to sing or I’m afraid you won’t pass

[Student:]

I’m not singing

[Teacher:]

Oh, that answer makes me very sad

Cause I’m gonna have to call your mom and dad

[Student:]

Are you serious?

[Teacher:]

Fuck, fuck, yes

[Student:]

Why?

[Teacher:]

I’m your teacher and I know what’s best

[Student:]

Okay man, are you happy now?

[Teacher:]

Holy cow

[Student:]

It seems like you got me to sing somehow

Please get on with this class

Cause you’re really really starting to be a pain in my ass

[Teacher:]

I’m telling you that learning is fun

You’ll be the smartest mother fucker in the world when I’m done

[Student:]

How?

[Teacher:]

Knowledge is power

[Student:]

Sorry for being sour

Teacher

I got a whole hour

Student

You can’t convince me that

Both

Learning is fun fun fun fun fun fun fun

Fun fun fun fun

Learning is really fucking fun fun fun fun

Fun fun fun fun

Fun fun fun fun fun fun

Really really really fucking fucking fun

Student

All right so where do we start

Teacher

Let’s talk about World War II

Student

Was it cool?

Teacher

It was a really really really shitty time to be a Jew

The year was 1932

Student

What happened?

Teacher

When Hitler came to power and he acted like a douche

Pearl Harbor was attacked in ‘41

Student

That sucks

Teacher

Then a couple weeks later, USA joined the fun

The whole damn world began shooting one another

Student

Shit

Teacher

Shit is right

Let’s be nice to each other

Student

So why should I care about this World War stuff?

Teacher

Cause if we make the same mistakes

Then shit would really really suck

Student

I’m just happy that we’re no longer in 1932

Teacher

I’m just glad we don’t have Hitler

Cause damn

Both

He was such a freakin douche

Douchy douche douche

Douchy douchy douche douch

Douche douchy douche douche

Douchy douche douche

Hilter was a douche

Douchy douche douche

Douchy douchy douche douche

Douche douchy douche douche

Douchy douche douche

Hilter was a douche

Teacher

If I take this tube of weird blue shit

And I put this red stuff inside of it

Well then wow

Student

Whoa

Teacher

There you go

Student

Was that a chemical reaction?

Teacher

Yup

Science is dope

Student

I guess

Teacher

Take this can of flammable shit

And combine it with this lighter

I can make shit lit baby

Boom

Student

What the hell?

Teacher

Now, wasn’t that swell?

I’ll tell you man

Science can be cool as hell

Science is cool yeah

Both

Science is cool

I said science is cool yeah

Science is cool

Science is cool yeah

Science is cool

I said science is cool yeah

Science is cool

Student

Yeah

That was weird

Teacher

Math is the shit

Because it’s always all around you

Numbers, calculations and equations will astound you

Two times two is

Student

Four

Teacher

And my ex-girlfriend is a whore

But it’s cool

Ten minus seven is

Student

Three

Teacher

And that was my age when my dad left me

Half of twenty is

Student

Ten

Teacher

You know I only have one friend

And it’s you

Five times a hundred fifty million two-hundred ninety-six thousand seven hundred ninety three is

Student

Uh, I have no idea

Teacher

Great

Both

Math is the shit

Because it’s always all around you

Numbers, calculations and equations will astound you

Yeah

Teacher

It’s time to wrap this up

I think this class is now dismissed

Student

Well I don’t think that I’ve ever enjoyed learning quite like this

Teacher

Man I hope that you learned something

That you never learned before

Student

I learned that Hitler was a douchebag

And your girlfriend was a whore

Both

We can all learn something

From a formal education

Student

I think I’m ready for graduation

Teacher

Actually we have a bit of a situation

Student

What?

Teacher

I’m not a, I’m not a real teacher

Student

Wait, what?

Teacher

So

Student

I need this class to gradate

Teacher

I’m sorry bro