50 Questions About Vin Diesel’s Utterly Fascinating Instagram Post With Sir Michael Caine

You know how sometimes you’ll see something on the internet and think “oh, that’s pretty cool” and expect to move on with your life in the coming days only to discover that it has burrowed a hole inside your brain and taken up residence and has no plans to leave anytime soon This could be just a thing that happens to me. I suspect it’s not, though. The human brain is really weird. Like, I have no clue what I had for lunch four days ago but I still know all the words to the song “Stop Being Greedy” by DMX and will almost certainly take them with me to the grave. It’s probably fine.

Anyway, about two weeks ago I saw this post by Vin Diesel on Instagram…

… and here I am, today, still utterly fascinated by it. I don’t think I’ve gone an entire day since without thinking about it at least a little. I doubt I’ve gone more than five or six hours, to be honest, at least the ones that I’ve been awake. It’s just… it’s fascinating to me. All of it, too: the picture, the caption, what both of them say and imply. I somehow want to know every single thing about it and nothing else about it at all, just so my imagination can run wild. I definitely have questions, though. So many questions. Hundreds, definitely. Thousands, probably.

But let’s narrow this list down, just for efficiency. Here are 50 of the questions I have about this picture of Vin Diesel and Michael Caine.

What do you think Vin Diesel and Michael Caine talk about at dinner

Do you think they talk about the Fast & Furious movies

Do you think Michael Caine has seen all of the Fast & Furious movies

Which Fast & Furious movie do you think is Michael Caine’s favorite

Probably Fast Five, right

Why hasn’t Michael Caine been in a Fast & Furious movie

Do you think he’s jealous that Helen Mirren has been in a few and has even gotten to drive a little

What if Fast X opens with a super-wide shot from a helicopter of someone speeding across the Mediterranean on a jet ski and it slowly zooms in as the opening credits roll out on the screen and when we finally get close enough to see who it is, blammo, it’s Michael Caine

What if he has a mustache

What if he’s playing the King of England

Do you think when Michael Caine saw the thing where Ludacris and Tyrese went to space in a NoS-powered Pontiac in F9 he said “Oh, splendid!” in that voice of his

What would you do if you bought a ticket to Fast X when it came out and the opening shot was the jet ski thing we talked about and then you heard a very familiar British voice say “Wonderful” and then you turned around Michael Caine was just sitting behind you in the theater with a Sprite and some peanut M&Ms

Does this mean Michael Caine is on Vin Diesel’s side in the feud with The Rock

Does Michael Caine hate The Rock

How much would you pay to hear Michael Caine’s unfiltered opinion on the Diesel-Rock feud

Do you think he tried to mediate it

What would you do if you went to an upscale steakhouse for your birthday dinner and two tables over you saw Michael Caine sitting between The Rock and Vin Diesel and he was saying, like, “Now, boys, let’s get to the bottom of this”

Would you stop talking about it for a single second for the rest of your life

Do you think Vin Diesel has seen The Muppet Christmas Carol

If so, how many times

Do you think he asks Michael Caine a million questions about working with the Muppets

What if the Muppets are in Fast X

What if Gonzo and Rizzo narrate the whole thing

What if there’s that whole opening scene with Michael Caine on the jet ski and then, just when you’re starting to get your bearings as a viewer, blammo again, we smash cut to Gonzo and Rizzo on the beach in comfortable chairs with little daiquiris in their cupholders and Gonzo starts explaining the history of the Fast & Furious franchise

If you close your eyes, can you picture Tyrese, in character as Roman, saying, “What the hell! We got Muppets in here now!”

What if there is no other Muppet in the whole movie and then they cut to Ludacris doing science and/or computer things and Beaker is just there assisting him and no one says anything about it

Has anything in history ever been less surprising than me looping the Muppets into this somehow

Who took this picture

Was it the waiter

Can you imagine being a waiter and Vin Diesel and Michael Caine sit down in your section

Would you be cool about it or would you freak out a little

Like, would you try to act like they’re just any two dudes or would you acknowledge that it’s kind of weird, both to be serving famous people and the thing where these two specific famous people are sitting together

Who paid for the dinner

Did they ask for separate checks

Which one is the better tipper

What if Vin Diesel offered to pay and then just dropped like a $20 tip on a $260 dinner and Michael Caine pretended he forgot something as they were walking out and went back to the table and dropped another $100 on it

That seems like something Michael Caine would do, right

Do you think waiters at fancy restaurants like this gossip a lot about which celebrities tip well and which are cheapskates

If you were a celebrity, would you leave extra big tips just to avoid ending up on some Reddit post titled Worst Celebrity Tippers

It’s got to be weird to be famous, right

Do you think you would enjoy being a celebrity

Do you think Michael Caine did the thumbs up in that picture because he knows it’s kind of Vin’s thing and he thought they would both be doing it and then he saw this post on Instagram and was kind of bummed out

What do you think each of them ordered

Probably pasta or red meat given the glasses of red wine, right

Which one of them would you rather hear say the phrase “I will have the lasagna”

You’re imagining it now, aren’t you

Do you think Michael Caine really calls Vin Diesel his son like Vin claims in the caption of that post

Is there a better collection of words in the history of social media than “Liked by Ludacris and 946,840 others”

Do you think Ludacris is bummed out he didn’t get invited

WHY DIDN’T THEY INVITE LUDACRIS