Porg Recipes For The ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’ Fans In Your Life

Everyone loves the puffin-like porgs, except for the Star Wars: The Last Jedi cast. Gwendoline Christie declared, “I hate porgs.” John Boyega considers the fluffy creatures “really freaky,” and even blamed their “real big eyes, all bunched together” for his opinion. Yet the most astute porg comments belong to Oscar Isaac, who has frequently quipped about what they might taste like. “Porgs with roasted turnips. Glazed porg,” he mused aloud in an interview. “Sorry, I was still talking about porg recipes.” In a later conversation, he surmised, “The thing with the porg is, you’d have lunch.”

As awful as this may seem, Isaac has a point. Even Star Wars‘ own digital marketing has toyed with the idea. And besides, with Mark Hamill’s Luke Skywalker living in isolation on Ahch-To for so long, he must have tried the critters at least once during his time there. If so, then how did The Last Jedi‘s possibly eponymous character prepare them What did he use for seasoning Was a lightsaber involved These (and others) are all important questions, so we’ve put together a short recipe list — consisting of hors-d’oeuvre, entrées, and entremets based on traditional puffin and poultry dishes — for your perusal.

Yes, you read that right. Despite being protected by several national and international conservation organizations, puffins are considered a rare delicacy in Nordic countries. And seeing as how The Last Jedi‘s porgs are based on the puffins writer/director Rian Johnson saw while filming at Skellig, it makes sense their preparation would be similar. Like “Porg in Green Milk Sauce” (as opposed to blue milk), a slight variation on an Icelandic dish in which the arctic birds are cooked with a buttery sauce rich in creamy dairy and some sweet additions. Typically prepared as a main course, this iteration can be served as an appetizer.

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CAUTION: The next recipe contains minor The Last Jedi spoilers. If you haven’t seen the film yet, then stop here.

The second time the porgs make a scene in The Last Jedi, their large, puppy dog-esque eyes are used to their full effect on Chewbacca and the audience. Camped just outside the Millenium Falcon at nighttime, Han Solo’s trusty co-pilot can be seen roasting a few of the plucked, singed and skinned birds over an open fire. It’s somewhat heartbreaking… but it also looks really good. Fire-roasting fowl of just about every feather is a staple of animal husbandry, yet puffins (and presumably porgs) are often described as having a “fishy” taste. So what to do

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That’s a porg appetizer and main course in the books, but what about a dessert Some recipes do in fact use meat, like the traditional Turkish dish Tavuk Göğsü, but porg eggs and plenty of green milk and cream have the makings of a decent custard. No need to again endure the emotional gaze of several deeply saddened porgs as you enjoy one of their friends or family members. (This time, you’ll just need to sneak into one of their nests and steal at least two, hopefully unfertilized eggs.)

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Star Wars: The Last Jedi is now in theaters. No porgs, which are completely fictional creatures, were harmed in the writing of this article.