People Continue To Joke Uproariously About Operation Varsity Blues, Aunt Becky, And Felicity Huffman

— Travon Free (@Travon) March 12, 2019

What a time to be alive. If you were in a coma yesterday — because we can think of no other way you wouldn’t have heard of this hilariously bonkers story — The Justice Department revealed a cheating, forgery, and bribery scheme to get children of privilege into prestigious schools using fake test scores, fake athletic credentials, and bribes, including “donations” to a charity that — oh the irony — was claiming to help underprivileged children pursue education.

The FBI sting was fittingly called Operation Varsity Blues, and yes, James Van Der Beek knows. Dozens of wealthy people were indicted on Tuesday, including actors Felicity Huffman (Desperate Housewives) and Lori Loughlin (Full House), the latter of whom (along with her husband Mossimo Giannulli) reportedly agreed to pay $500,000 in bribes to get their two daughters into USC by getting them recruited to the university’s crew team. (Neither daughter plays the sport.) That led to so many Aunt Becky jokes along the lines of “Aunt Becky with the good heir.”

Speaking of jokes, people on Twitter have certainly been having fun with the news, although Donald Trump, Jr.’s attempt to call out someone else for their unearned position decidedly backfired. The joking has continued well into today:

– rich people in trouble

– proof you were right about Those Rich Kids at your college

– prosecution under the RICO Act

– a Balkan water polo coach

– a chance to yell about systemic inequality

– FULL HOUSE JOKES

WHAT MORE COULD YOU ASK FOR.

— Hayes Brown (@HayesBrown) March 12, 2019

felicity huffman's daughter getting a 900 on the math pic.twitter.com/iGaqiVF8Ll

— Activian Rhapsody (@missunitedface) March 12, 2019

ADMISSIONS OFFICE: ur child was not accepted to our college

FELICITY HUFFMAN: then i will have to do a crime

ADMISSIONS OFFICE: u can just donate some money & we'll let em in

FELICITY HUFFMAN: a crime i shall do

ADMISSIONS OFFICE: just make a donation

FELICITY HUFFMAN: crime time

— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) March 12, 2019

pic.twitter.com/Fu4iksLaZP

— out of context desperate housewives (@DHnocontext) March 12, 2019

The admissions scandal is a sad reminder of class inequality but I love that a bunch of rich kids woke up and found emails from their parents to school administrators like “plz help my child is an absolute dullard, the kid would eat sand straight off the beach if I let them”

— Glorious Daniel (@ItsDanSheehan) March 13, 2019

BREAKING: Prosecutors allege that Rodney Dangerfield committed fraud to enroll in college at age 65

— Pixelated Boat: The Junior Novelization (@pixelatedboat) March 12, 2019

[Ivy League school water polo practice]

COACH: What the hell is going on here

KID WHO OBTAINED A FRAUDULENT SCHOLARSHIP (attempting to calm down a terrified horse): Everything is fine.

— Mike Beauvais (@MikeBeauvais) March 12, 2019

I applied to UCSD for college where my dad was a professor and asked him to put in a word for me. He did, and I still got rejected and he goes “you’ve learned a valuable lesson. Never ask someone to put in a good word for you if everyone thinks that person is an asshole.”

— Justin Halpern (@justin_halpern) March 12, 2019

I made a song for Aunt Becky. pic.twitter.com/vRWrg3sXq3

— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) March 12, 2019

Many of the jokes revolved around people’s shock that anyone would pay half a million dollars to get their kids into USC:

— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) March 12, 2019

Lori Loughlin paid $500k to get her daughter into USC. Not to be a dick but how stupid is her daughter

— sarah schauer (@SJSchauer) March 12, 2019

How the fuck are you rich and can’t get into USC

— dasha (@nobody_stop_me) March 12, 2019

if my rich dumb ass mom paid somebody a million dollars to get me into college instead of just giving me a million dollars i would be so pissed off

— relaxed easy going guy (@DinkMagic) March 12, 2019

The jokes and sarcasm kept coming:

— Simone Scott (@Simone_Scott) March 12, 2019

It’s time I come clean and admit that my dad did all my reading for the Book It! Club so I could get a free pan pizza.

— Mike Lawrence (@TheMikeLawrence) March 12, 2019

You know how Black mothers go to jail when they lie about their address so that their kids can go to a better school Imma need that same energy when it comes to the Desperate Whitewives who lied to get their kids into Yale.

— Kerry Coddett (@Overfab) March 12, 2019

Imagine working at the FBI and everyone around you is uncovering crimes by the President, and you get assigned to wiretap Aunt Becky for trying to get her dumb kid into college

— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) March 12, 2019

My son Bruntley got into Yale fair and square through the Habsburg Underbite Scholar program

— Emma (@Merman_Melville) March 12, 2019

Now that the Hollywood Bribery Ring has been busted, the only thing helping rich kids get into college are legacy admissions, private tutors, board member connections, unpaid summer internships, interview coaches, and a lifetime of Ivy-bound grooming!!!

— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) March 12, 2019

The elite college admittance system is predicated on the completely legal ways rich people advantage their children via tutors, test prep, activities, sports, legacy, donations, time, and more so it's extra funny to me when they fumble all that and say "fuck it, let's crime"

— alexis nedd (@alexisthenedd) March 12, 2019

did any one else just assume that celebrities paid to get their kids into college and are shocked that it’s actually illegal

— jaboukie (@jaboukie) March 12, 2019

If you tax rich people more and use the money to make public colleges free, they would have less money lying around to Photoshop their children into private colleges.

— Anand Giridharadas (@AnandWrites) March 13, 2019

just paid 425k to get my daughter into a Color Me Mine

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) March 13, 2019

Pretty crazy that William H Macy has a good shot of getting arrested for something every single William H Macy character would get arrested for.

— Kaleb Horton (@kalebhorton) March 12, 2019

march madness: who will play felicity huffman in college cheating film pic.twitter.com/XdnTnKRWZK

— dilara elbir (@elbirdilara) March 12, 2019

DUPLICITY Huffman

— Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) March 12, 2019

felicity huffman entering prison and seeing lori loughlin pic.twitter.com/I9WEpfO7qr

— mark (@markamlz) March 12, 2019

My one request to the judge when sentencing Lori Laughlin: Have mercy

— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) March 12, 2019

And finally, people tried to make sense of all this:

— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) March 13, 2019

The crux of the college scandal:

Many rich Americans are no longer content with the generalized rigging of America in their favor.

They want extra, private, bottle-service, bespoke rigging, over and above the unfair advantages they're forced to share with other rich people.

— Anand Giridharadas (@AnandWrites) March 12, 2019

wow, turns out that money was the real Affirmative Action all along!

— gamer wife (@bijanstephen) March 12, 2019

if harvard offered to increase my IQ by one point per dollar i would simply say no. And that's the most important takeaway from all this

— wint (@dril) March 12, 2019