The Rundown: Please Release ‘Paddington In Peru’ As Soon As Possible

The Rundown is a weekly column that highlights some of the biggest, weirdest, and most notable events of the week in entertainment. The number of items could vary, as could the subject matter. It will not always make a ton of sense. Some items might not even be about entertainment, to be honest, or from this week. The important thing is that it’s Friday, and we are here to have some fun.

There is very little that almost everyone on the internet agrees about. You know this. Maybe you’ve typed something harmless into a box on social media — “birds are nice” — and found yourself hours later somehow engaged in a battle of wits with a person you’ve never met over global economic policy. This is a joke, kind of, but not really. People desperately need to go outside.

That’s what makes the Paddington movies so amazing. Well, that and the thing where they’re both just lovely pieces of cinema. But, like, yes, almost everyone, even the most jaded wild animals posting on forums in the darkest corners of the internet, loves my sweet fuzzy boy. It’s nice. It’s just a nice thing. Remember when Hugh Grant played the villain in the second movie Remember when he sang and danced in prison I think we all know I’m going to post the video anyway, so it’s fine if you need a refresher.

This brings me to some good news and some bad news…

GOOD NEWS

The third movie in the franchise, Paddington in Peru, finally has a release date. And it sounds wonderful already. Look at this description.

In the Dougal Wilson-directed picture, Paddington heads to Peru to visit his beloved Aunt Lucy, who now resides at the Home for Retired Bears. With the Brown family in tow, adventure ensues when a mystery plunges them into an unexpected journey through the Amazon rainforest and to the mountain peaks of Peru.

God yes. Send my fluffy little boy on an adventure. It’s been six full years since the last one hit theaters. Think about all we’ve been through since then. It was literally 2017 when it came out. This was before my beloved Philadelphia Eagles won the Super Bowl. It feels like a lifetime ago. I need it. I need to see my marmalade-loving son heal the world through kindness. Please.

Unfortunately, this brings me to…

BAD NEWS

Look at this.

Paddington in Peru will hit U.S. cinemas on January 17, 2025 MLK Weekend, but will debut in the UK about two months prior on November 8, 2024, Sony said Monday.

NO

COME ON

THAT IS TOO FAR AWAY

AND WHY DO I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL AFTER ENGLAND GETS IT

GIVE TO IT TO ME

NOW

OR AT LEAST AS SOON AS IT IS DONE

JUST FINISH THE MOVIE AND RELEASE IT THAT NIGHT

HIT SEND AND GIVE IT TO EVERY THEATER

WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY

PROBABLY

OR WE CAN INVENT IT

COME ON

WE’RE GOING TO HAVE TO FLY TO LONDON, AREN’T WE

WHEN IT COMES OUT THERE

I CAN’T WAIT THOSE EXTRA TWO MONTHS

WE CAN CHARTER A PLANE

I AM BARELY JOKING

I APOLOGIZE FOR YELLING

PADDINGTON WOULD BE SO DISAPPOINTED

BUT STILL

LISTEN TO ME

IT’S IMPORTANT

COME ON

Two bits of news about Killers of the Flower Moon to get to, neither of them about the thing where Leonardo DiCaprio wore butt padding to shoot a scene where Robert De Niro quite literally whupped his ass. I’m as shocked as you are. But we have serious business to get to. We will have fun later, I promise. There’s a story about a bull semen heist coming up soon. The brand must remain strong and powerful at all times.

But first, from a report in Variety about the box office numbers for the film…

“Killers of the Flower Moon,” which has drawn some of the strongest reviews of the year, is hoping for its own sustained run in the weeks ahead. A positive A- grade through research firm Cinema Score shows that initial audiences are happy to go along for the ride. Even more striking is the film’s initial draw with younger audiences — 46% of opening night moviegoers were under the age of 35.

It’s tempting here to both overreact to this (“THE KIDS ARE SICK OF MARVEL AND ARE READY TO USHER IN A NEW ERA OF CINEMA”) and underreact to it (“Eh, there will always be film school dorks who want to see star-studded Scorsese movies”), so let’s try to find the middle ground here…

Maybe people just like stuff that’s good and cool Like, whether it’s a comic book movie that’s done well or a 3.5-hour take on atrocities committed by powerful dudes, maybe people just want original stuff that’s worth their time and doesn’t half-ass the story or pander to them. That could be happening here. Maybe the big takeaway is “work harder and give resources to people who care a lot about the product.” Tougher to replicate, but still.

Second piece of business: In addition to a lot of the fawning over the movie, there was also this interesting thread on social media from Reservation Dogs star Devery Jacobs.

This film was painful, grueling, unrelenting and unnecessarily graphic.