The Rundown: A Good Faith Attempt To Explain How And Why ‘How To With John Wilson’ Is So Good

The Rundown is a weekly column that highlights some of the biggest, weirdest, and most notable events of the week in entertainment. The number of items could vary, as could the subject matter. It will not always make a ton of sense. Some items might not even be about entertainment, to be honest, or from this week. The important thing is that it’s Friday, and we are here to have some fun.

My only real complaint about the show How to With John Wilson is that I’m not sure how to explain it in a way that will get across how good it is. I’m going to try, but bear with me. How to With John Wilson is a new HBO docuseries that premiered last week and featured its host banging around New York and making conversation with people to try to understand more about the human condition. Nope. That’s not good. Let me try again.

How to With John Wilson is a new HBO docuseries and comedy that uses massive amounts of footage shot in New York and a number of interviews with people on the street to try to get at what makes people tick and why they are the way they are and sometimes the episode claims to be about scaffolding but it’s actually about psychology and nope, this sentence is entirely too long. Strike two. Let’s give it one more crack.

How to With John Wilson is a good show. It uses what its host described to us in an interview as a “psychotic” amount of footage to get at what makes people, and a city, work, together. There are man-on-the-street interviews that reveal more in 30 seconds than some documentaries do in an hour. The episodes range from funny to sweet to heartfelt to kind of crushing, in a good way, sometimes all in one 30-minute block. It’s not entirely like anything I’ve ever seen on television. The closest I can get, I think, is to tell you that it’s kind of like Nathan for You, but less mean-spirited and more hopeful about humanity, which makes sense because Nathan Fielder is an executive producer on the show.

Yeah. That’s as close as I’m going to get, I think. Let’s turn it over to John himself, from the interview he did with our Jason Tabrys earlier in the week.

Just hearing someone being able to speak in their own words and give them time to… you give the microphone to people who usually don’t get it. I want to see what makes these people happy or sad or what they think about all of these complicated issues. We pretend to be all black and white about stuff, but we all live in this gray area, and a lot of times people don’t know why they feel a certain type of way about something. I feel like I can relate to that a lot and that’s why I just like having discussions with people and showing them… I don’t know, I also feel like it’s anthropology in a way and just documenting a specific time and place. A lot of my favorite documentaries are people just talking about their love lives or their obsessions or stuff like that.

That’s better. I probably should have just started with that. I think you’re getting the idea now. Each episode claims to be about one thing — the premiere was “How to Make Small Talk”; future episodes include “How to Put Up Scaffolding” and the stunning finale “How to Make the Perfect Risotto” — but twists and turns to get at something much deeper. It’s a wild ride that works even when it probably shouldn’t. Most of that is its creator, John Wilson, who narrates and films almost everything and is perfectly happy to follow a loose thread wherever it takes him. Sometimes it takes him to Spring Break in Cancun. Sometimes it takes him to a half-constructed hotel. Sometimes it takes him into the New York subway for a 14-second single shot of Twin Peaks star Kyle MacLachlan trying and failing to swipe his MetroCard.

I would discuss this particular shot at great length — great, great length — but there’s no reason to, seeing as Vulture’s Kathryn VanArendonk already did it so well.

When I watched this perfect gem, these 14 incandescently funny seconds, I ached to know more. Did MacLachlan realize he was being filmed It sure doesn’t seem that way. How did he resolve his MetroCard problem Did HBO have to clear this with him Does he know he’s appearing in this series Has he watched it Does he love it (I really hope he loves it.)

The short version of everything I’ve tried to say goes something like this: How to With John Wilson is a fascinating experiment that required a Herculean effort and a dedication to a very specific craft and the fact that it works at all, let alone well, is a borderline miracle. It is sui generis, one of a kind, in a time where that’s becoming more rare. I’m not sure how they did it. I’m still not sure I’ve explained it well, or even accurately. I am glad it exists, though. It’s a special little thing.

This is a commercial for LinkedIn. It is fine. It does the thing most commercials do In These Uncertain Times, with the people in masks, and the assurances that their company and/or service can be useful in new and/or different ways, and the… and the… and…

Hang on.

Wait.

Is that…

THAT’S THE TRUE ROMANCE MUSIC.

It is. I checked and everything, even though I did not have to. I have seen True Romance enough times to know the dinky bonk sounds of Hans Zimmer’s “You’re So Cool” the instant I hear them. It’s not an unrecognizable song. It stands out. It stands out in True Romance, a movie about a man who falls in love with a prostitute and kills her pimp and runs off with a suitcase full of cocaine. It’s a strange fit in that context the first time you hear it, but eventually, it becomes identifiable with the film to the degree that it becomes a very strange fit for a commercial about, like, networking to advance your career.

I won’t lie to you. I pointed at my television and shouted the first time I saw this. I interrupted the conversation I was in and yelled “THAT’S THE TRUE ROMANCE MUSIC” at my screen like I was going to win a prize for identifying it. I have done the same thing every time since. I caught myself muttering it under my breath to an empty room. It’s been a weird few months for all of us.

Anyway, here’s the proof.

And here’s the text of Alabama Worley’s closing monologue, which I really do think someone should lay over top of the footage from the LinkedIn commercial, just to see how weird or funny it is.

Amid the chaos of that day, when all I could hear was the thunder of gunshots, and all I could smell was the violence in the air, I look back and am amazed that my thoughts were so clear and true, that three words went through my mind endlessly, repeating themselves like a broken record: you’re so cool, you’re so cool, you’re so cool. And sometimes Clarence asks me what I would have done if he had died, if that bullet had been two inches more to the left. To this, I always smile, as if I’m not going to satisfy him with a response. But I always do. I tell him of how I would want to die, but that the anguish and the want of death would fade like the stars at dawn, and that things would be much as they are now. Perhaps. Except maybe I wouldn’t have named our son Elvis.

Three notes in closing:

True Romance. Good movie. Brad Pitt is a delight.

— ICE T (@FINALLEVEL) April 9, 2019

There are very few jobs I want in this world more than “judge on a daytime television show.” It seems very easy and lucrative. Judge Judy films like 50 days a year and makes $50 million. That’s a cool million per day of work, just to boss people around and call them bozos. I could do that. I could do it for way less. It is infuriating that I am not a television judge yet. I even, for real, not joking, have a law degree. It’s sitting 10 feet away in a box I haven’t opened in three years. I’m qualified. Come on.

I say all of this in part to get it on the record and in part because Ice-T has a judge show now. Kind of. He has a mediator show. Called The Mediator. Here, look.

Each side will plead their argument, providing the evidence, facts and details of the case to Ice-T, who will then call upon various well-known and knowledgeable experts to share their perspective and advice. As an unbiased and respected third party, Ice-T will offer his best recommendation for how the complainants should proceed. If they accept his suggestion, the case will be settled. If they choose not to accept, the case will move to court.

This is all cool and interesting and it’s a little funny that Ice-T of all people has now played both a cop and a judge on television, but the real story is the quotes Deadline ran to accompany this announcement.

“Finding a resolution between two hostile sides means finding someone levelheaded that not only has respect but can also analyze complex issues in different ways,” said Ice-T. “I think my opinions are rooted in facts and fairness so I know I can help these people.”

Well said, Ice-T. But I think what would really drive this home is a borderline insane set of analogies from a well-meaning producer who has no fear at all of deploying hyperbole on the record.

“Ice-T has the credibility of an OG, the wisdom of Yoda, and the sense of humor of a standup comic. Never has a voice like his been needed more in the marketplace,” Krasnow added.

Again, I don’t know that I’ll ever watch this show. I might check it out once out of curiosity. Either way, I’m mostly just glad it exists. Good for Ice-T.

I don’t have much to say about this video. I don’t know that I need to say much. It is Desus & Mero — who are consistently great — doing a parody of John Oliver’s show, as a bit, in reference to Oliver and his crew always winning the Emmy in their category. It is very good and very funny and it nails a lot of the little gestures and phrasing that Oliver uses on his show, probably without even realizing. The accents are… less on point. Which makes it even funnier. And the wigs. Wigs help, too.

It’s a good bit. I support all of it.